quirks. . . .

Quirk 1-
I've spent 10 years wanting to stop biting my nails, but i've yet to succeed.
Quirk 2-
My acute fear of failure and/or regret holds me back from doing and saying lots of things.
Quirk 3-
I really miss disney channel. Not the stuff that's on today, it's annoying. But i miss Even stevens, and all the shows in that era. maybe my real confession is that i was
in love with ren from that show. and i'll take it further and when i was younger i wished i
could be a freeskater like "brink" and be married to zenon girl of the twenty first
century.
Quirk 4-
I sometimes worry that I would never have gotten to know some people with out having
Played guitar.
Quirk 5-
If my impulsive spontaneous side gets covered up or stifled, it will spontaneously
combust, and i'll do something like move to provo.
Quirk 6-
I want to live in new york for a while. But ultimately i want a country house, on a lot of property, with horses and my family.

I just wanted to post this and have it noted that there is something very wrong with this picture.... a very integral part is missing....

where... is.... jor- DAN?

lost in "Moan-tan-uh". will he make it home alive? will he make it home? is he... alive? am i alive? am i home? is my home alive? where's montana? is montana alive? is it home?

sorry. just one of those moments.

meandering thoughts.

I have spent my days in meditation,
a certain form of recreation,
my minds tuned into the station...
that produces melancholy tunes.

i go and find a place to hide,
to swim in my conflicted mind,
try and find some peace inside...
why won't my thoughts just juxtapose.

there is no hope for linear thinking,
i can't help my focus sinking,
can't find sensible ways of linking,
a thousand untied knots.

trying to maintain my composure,
trying to find a little closure,
i'll keep looking thats for sure...
that time when it all makes sense.

The Psalm Of Nephi

2 nephi 4:16-35

This is such beautiful writing! Everytime i read this i begin sincere introspection. I always feel that the questions that he is putting to himself, and also to his maker are so applicable to my own life. I feel the gratitude that he expresses in verses 20, 21, and 22. I understand his shame and panged recognition of guilt in 19 and 20. And in 27, 28, and 29 he declares new resolve to move forward from that moment more faithful and diligent, then after the emotion of the moment has passed he realizes that he'll need the lords help, and pleads for it. This is one of those passages that makes the Book of Mormon so real to me. For me these words are a naked insight into a man's soul. A man who lived thousands of years ago, but struggled with the same human emotions and struggles as me. I'm so grateful for this, and it influences me so much that i decided i'm going to memorize it. So i figured i'd share it with anyone who stopped by my blog :)





16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.

24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen